My wife was in the hospital overnight for two days in labor and then giving birth to our daughter and I slept on the floor of the hospital and man it was hard and cold. But it's not about me, you know? She was in pain and we loaded her into the tub and I rubbed her swollen body and told her it was going to be OK even though I didn't really mean it--it, the whole thing, was not going well at all.
On the first morning I had to get out of there and I walked on down to the Whole Foods when they had just opened and I bought myself a Uinta BABA Black Lager and it tasted so good. I was sitting there on the little patio thing at a picnic table with the sun coming up and I was thinking just someone just come here and try to give me some open container shit on this here beautiful August morning because I am an expectant father, godammit, so leave me alone to have my breakfast beer in peace.
Breakfast beers are the best and the all-time best breakfast beer is Sierra Nevada. A close second, it turns out, is a BABA.
When I was living in a crazy-ass triple-decker in Somerville, Massachusetts, three floors of various madness, we had crazy parties with kegs in the basement. After one bash, my buddy Ryan and I were down there cleaning up butts and bottles and came across a bag of mostly defrosted ice. At the bottom were two Sierra Nevada Pale Ales, cold, with little lines of water running down the brown glass. We clinked.
I know someone left that bag there on purpose.
On the second morning at the hospital there was a baby girl, Alice. I walked on down to the Whole Foods and I bought myself a BABA and I sat at the same table and the same sun was coming up and I was the same person.
We drove our baby home later and stopped to buy diapers at the Safeway they just tore down at Broadway and Pleasant Valley and I went in and couldn't find newborn sizes and started worrying that my baby and wife were going to suffocate in the car because I was taking so long.
My kid is tough. She commands a room—beginning with that one in the hospital, cord attached, howling, and immediately shitting on her mother.
I was on paternity leave. When she refused to nurse, I was dispatched to the Lake Merritt Whole Foods to procure fenugreek and some other herbal crap, had a morning black lager on my way out, and was just waiting for someone to give me shit, try it, my baby won't nurse and I've been up all night.
Alice wouldn't stop crying, so I put her in the stroller and we walked around the lake. At the playground by the Bellevue Club, parents played happily with their toddlers and I held my week-old baby tight in the sunlight and hoped I could keep her alive long enough to swing on the monkey bars someday.